The Tears of a Cardinal
by IrisCarlyle
Summary: AU: They're back in Fairytale Land and Belle still doesn't remember.


Rumpelstiltskin was a free man. But to no avail was he truly free. They had given him a burden that even he could not fix, and they looked at him with sad eyes. He would not show them weakness, no matter little. That was reserved for when she cried in the middle of the night, his tears soon to follow.

The Dark One, the most powerful of them all, and even he was plagued by a simple curse. Something that would not seem to break, no matter how hard he fought it.

"And these are your quarters," he began shyly once they had gotten back and they were back in his castle. Rumpelstiltskin could not meet eyes with her.

"Please take me home." She whimpered, hands clenched in fists and dry tears bracing at her eyes.

"Belle this is home." He whispered ever so faintly, trying to mask his despair.

"No." Her body began to shake, and her words become howls. "No no no!"

It was after that that he had put in her the dungeon and put a spell on her that made it incapable for her to inflict pain upon herself.

Three weeks passed and every night she cried.

And then, in the middle of one of his sleeps he had a magnificent idea. It was then that he rushed to the library and pulled out a book Henry had gotten him for Christmas. _Beauty and the Beast. _Yes, he had lived this before but never to the divine aspect of it. If he had done it would it be possible that without fear she could fall again? In this new body of hers that rank of all things human? He had to try, for his sanity and her life, he had to try.

That morning he approached her cell.

"Please don't hurt me... I just want to go home..." she whimpered almost to herself in between sobs.

He opened her cage, a rock in his chest that tried to tell him it was his heart. "What is your name?" He asked her, cold like a shadow. He couldn't get to involved, or he himself would break into tears.

"Nina... Nina..." she repeated twice, not even looking at him and more in her mental breakdown.

The rock was beginning to crack. "Well Nina, you know how your world moves in ways we cannot explain?" To think he would rely on science in the middle of all this chaos.

But she nodded, casting fey looks at him before breaking down again.

"Well this is one of those times. I know you're not home, and I'm sorry."

"Will you take me home?" Her eyes grew wide, hopeful.

Rumpelstiltskin shook his head. "You can never go back. But I will make this life as comfortable as possible for you."

There was something that resembled an animal in her eye, something that was nothing remotely Belle. But to his hope she nodded.

"I will guide you... and B- I mean, Nina... I'm sorry. It was never supposed to be like this." He held out a hand to help her up and she took it cautiously.

And that was the beginning of a long road to recovery for Belle French.

She had resumed her duties as caretaker. Belle's cries grew less frequent but he still made sure not to use magic around her. She was still to drink a potion daily - which he masked as tea - to dim her senses. But even after a grueling three months nothing seemed to change. And then she began to ask him questions.

"What is your name?" She said one day after cleaning down his table one day.

He laughed at that, busy in a book. "Gold." He said, flipping the page of the book.

Belle was curious, her face pale and limbs shaky. "No one has such a name like Gold." She whispered almost to herself.

He looked at her, a spark of interest in his face. Or perhaps this was a spark of longing. But he didn't focus in on it; it wasn't worth it. "Then maybe I am no one."

And in that instant she smiled and he felt like he floating. It was a split second of joy and he had places to be; so the world fell moments later. Rumpelstiltskin sighed, "I have places to be Nina. Do not expect me back until tomorrow." He hated to leave her but he still had deals to make and fools to barter with.

She had tried to run the first few weeks. One time she even got a few paces from the grounds. But she had a breakdown and she knew better then to run now. The world was to new for her, it scared her. Might as well stay with her beast.

"What do you want done while you're gone?" She asked, eyes glazed in a comforted fear.

Rumpelstiltskin turned around and grinned, his persona taking over the human pain. "Just have tea ready when I get back. Enjoy yourself Nina, you deserve it. The library is the second door on the West wing. I think you'd enjoy it there." He nodded her farewell. Winter was approaching, and it brought a chill in the air.

"How is she?" Asked Henry. It was weird seeing the boy garbed in clothes of royalty. This life suited him, as for Emma it was like a new place. She still refused her mother's dresses and resorted to leathered pants.

He snarled at him, "my affairs are none of your business."

Just then Snow descended from her stairway, eyes hard on Rumpelstiltskin. "Oh what do I owe the pleasure?" She then motioned her attention to Henry; "can you go get your grandfather?" And the boy rushed off.

Rumpelstiltskin bowed, curling his hand. It was a signature move of his that he never seemed to retire. "You wanted a report." He hissed, eyes like slits.

She nodded, "how is she? We're still worried."

"She's..." he didn't want to tell them, but that was their deal. They keep him out of their prison as long as monthly reports on his duties are made to them. Seems like these reports revolve around Belle but what did it matter. "She's crying less, and she's warming up to me."

Snow smiled faintly, something distant in her eyes. "Do you have it?" She whispered, brought back into reality.

He nodded, pulling a small container from his satchel. Rumpelstiltskin eyed the box in admiration. "What do you need with pixie dust and dragon skin?" The mixture was an odd one. Dragon skin if ground could produce vanity in someone. And pixie dust was of magical properties; together, well, he had no idea what they'd do.

"Its for Emma." She hissed, grabbing at it. "Maybe it'll help her adjust."

Nodding he made way towards the door. "Do with it as you will. But if her temperament rises do call me; a daughter's fury at her mother is to be bottled. And with one of Emma." His fingers were basically itching at the prospect.

"Just go," she snapped as she began up the stairs again.

"Ah but doesn't Charming wish to see me?" He mocked a frown and did some extravagant pose.

"You'll be back in a month; don't flatter yourself." And that was how they made ways. It did him right; he had three more visits to make before he returned home.

The sight that appeared before him upon his return startled him. It was Belle no less but she wasn't wearing her brown clothing anymore. She had somehow managed to get a hold of her old clothing.

"These... they fit me perfectly..." she mumbled, eyes wide. Belle twirled in her blue dress and Rumpelstiltskin immediately wanted to kiss her right there. But he couldn't, it would be burning everything he had managed to make in the past few months.

He nodded, "I thought they would." His feet moved him a few feet from her. "I bought them for you a few weeks ago, but they were supposed to be surprise in the middle of winter." There was a twitch of lips from him, and how it pained him to lie to her. But it wasn't her, was it?

Her eyes lightened just barely. "F-for me... ?" It sounded like the idea that someone would buy her something so nice was unheard of.

"You've been a good caretaker, you deserve it." He wanted to change the topic. "Did you look at the library?"

She nodded with gusto. "Yes, what a beautiful place. Books from so long ago... could I read them?"

Rumpelstiltskin was taken back, "why of course, that's why I showed you."

They looked at each other for a moment, joy slowly creeping into her eyes and a sort of hope. And in his, well he wasn't sure what his eyes held. But in a moment she broke the stare and blushed slightly. "I-I better go make your tea..." and she rushed off without another word.

Sighing he sat back in his chair and let a smile fall across his lips. It was nice; falling in love again. It was almost sweeter the second time again.

A month passed and snow covered the ground. He decided to take her out on a walk of the grounds since she hardly ever went. Belle was scared after her outburst when she went out on the third week and now she dwelt only in the castle.

Her outbursts happened only every once in a while, wailing in the middle of the night. He would rush to her, no matter how far he was. And he'd stand outside her door, gripping at it with his white knuckles and feeling his own heartbreak over and over again. And when she was almost done he'd enter her room and she'd stare at him until her eyesight grew fuzzy and she fell to sleep. They almost never touched.

"Tell me about yourself," Belle whispered as they rounded a knobby Ash tree.

His shoulders churned into a shrug, "what is to tell?"

"Well why do you live alone?"

He felt his eyes close and a cringe fall across his face. "I wasn't always alone..." the words began, "I had a son once... but he left and never came back. And then there was this girl..." did he dare dream? "But she too left, and then I found you... and you needed help."

"You took me from my home," were her whispered words. But this time she didn't cry, her head was held high and she looked at him. "Tell me about this girl."

Now she was pushing to far but he didn't dare snap at her, because this was Belle reborn and he couldn't hurt her. "It was so long ago, I forgot her name. But she looked kind of like you. And she had a strong personality, never gave up on me. Even at my darkness day..." it was weird, looking at her and knowing that this girl was not the same as her body. That if Belle was broken she could've become this.

She blushed, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked. She sounds incredible. So strong. So unlike me."

"You have no idea," he breathed, staring at her. Their eyes were locked in the middle of the light snow. The world was cold and fresh, a dormant land amongst a raging society that demanded him more then he liked to imagine.

Was she leaning in? Was it now? In the end he would never know because a flock of cardinals burst from the brush and fluttered around him, nipping at the birdseed he kept hidden within his robes. A curse flew from his lips for the moment was ruined. Belle, however was laughing for the first time in weeks, and so he aloud himself to live a little. And for the rest of the evening they fed the birds. He, however, couldn't help but glancing at her overjoyed expressions.

Winter faded into spring and it seemed like the sad Belle was nowhere to be found. But her curse was still not broken and he began to worry. For the Dark One's fury, which had subsided when he was Gold, was suddenly coming back after nearly a year. And to make it worse she was in the middle of a tearful fit, which he thought she was done with.

Rumpelstiltskin rushed to her room and for the first time he didn't wait outside her door, he rushed straight to her. There was something beautiful about her weakness, something he was never granted.

When their eyes met there was something frantic in the way she looked at him and Belle nearly lunged into his arms. He was taken back as he met her halfway. And for the next thirty minutes he held her in a cradled embrace. Their eyes never met until she was almost done. "T-thank you." She managed to whisper, still heaving.

As their eyes held he was never sure who touched each other first. But they were there; kissing in the middle of a storm, hugged in tear-drenched sheets. Nothing about the scene was beautiful, it was broken and clumsy but it was perfect. Belle French did not pull back right away but when she did her eyes blazed with a fire Rumpelstiltskin thought he'd never see again. "I remember you... how could I ever forget you..." she whispered, touching his face. "My Rumpelstiltskin..."

"Oh thank Gods," he hissed, touching noses with her. "I was on the verge of worry." And they kissed again, deeper with passion. Nothing had ever been more right in Rumpelstiltskin's life.


End file.
